You don't need to buy a wheelchair. People who use them are usually pretty weak and you can just take one. Would also strengthen your case for our lord of the left hand path, Satan.
this post was submitted on 12 May 2026
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Nah, Satan is more chill than that. The first satanic tenet:
One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.
This is a shit post forsure... 100% high quality shitpost
Gotta slow-roll (heh) this one for it to work. Attend for a few Sundays. Also some light-touch pyrotechnics would go a long way toward selling it.
Smoke machine, that is triggered by a Slayer song
Gotta be red and orange pyrotechnics though, in keeping with the theme 😁
Why's this on a photo of the ceiling
They went the extra mile and were rolled in on a hospital bed. That was their last view.
Because the ceiling fan is haunted by the person having this thought.
You know...my town is letting people borrow wheelchairs at Town Hall to ride to the library, to show off their accessible infrastructure changes.
It's about a half mile between the two, but there's a church on the way.
Bonus points if you attend church every day for like a year without saying anything to anyone. Then do it.
You can rent a whellchair. That will save you some up-front money.
You can easily steal a wheelchair (like taking stroller from a candy-eating pos baby) ... but I would never steal (or rent for that matter) a whellchair, out of respect. And practicality, it's daily usefulness is just unimaginable.
They are fun to use when you're not required to, and they build arm strength
Than wheelchairs. Whellchairs build up vomiting muscles, flame immunity, and are ofc sulphur powered.
It really destroys the bit if you leave with the wheelchair so what happens to it is anybody's guess
Perhaps someone with electronics knowledge could have it surreptitiously wired so a hidden battery produces heat along the frame (activated just before the miraclee leaves), and the person who ultimately moves it is startled by it being hot to the touch?
I'm an electrician
I could totally do that
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join church and fake disability for 6 months.
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Get 'healed'
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????
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Profit (now you lead a cult)
it would NOT shock me if you could actually create your own cult by doing exactly that in an already established cult.
Back in the 90s there was a scourge of ponzi schemes and investment scams etc going through churches. Honestly we probably wouldn't even have the acronym MLM if it wasn't for Christians.
Amway was founded in 1959.
oh totally. I went to a few with some group called Lexus (not the car). I let them blabber, eat my breakfast (1-1 meeting, they paid) and left right after.
had another one, full on interview with a company. 12 others in the room.. thought it was weird but I was a teen... they said I had to pay for training.. stood up, verbalized how scammy that was and almost the whole room cleared out right after me.
Yeah, but you could own a piece of the True Cross!
Maybe add a few tricks, make your soles catch fire as you walk away, lights flicker, and the candles go out.
Maybe your faith will cure someone else on a wheelchair in that church too, and they just stand up & walk away whilst their head does epic 360s ...
\m/
Alright one of you who know whats up, whats the deal with lucifer and satan? They're different figures, right? Whats with the christians using them interchangeably? And why dont they throw Mammon into the 'same guy' umbrella term of 'the devil' too?
Literally ignore the other people. They clearly don't know what they're talking about, though anise is at least close. The name Lucifer originally referred to Venus, the morning star. It comes from Roman Latin, long before Christianity was a thing, and literally just means light-bringer. The Hebrew name for Venus is mentioned a single time in the bible, referencing a Babylonian king who was given the title. You can probably thank St. Jerome for replacing the Hebrew name for the planet with "Lucifer", but I'm not certain on that one. I'm not a scholar of mediaeval church Latin. Never, not once in the bible, is Lucifer conflated with the devil. In fact, even the original Satan was called the Adversary not because he was YHWH's adversary, but because he was effectively God's District Attorney, prosecuting the wrongs of mortals. The entire conflation with Satan as evil happened between the recording of the Hebrew bible and the development of Christianity. Hence why Satan is pretty much only mentioned in the New Testament.
Pretty much every single thing modern Christians believe about the devil, or especially hell, was made up in the middle ages, and a hefty amount of that by Dante alone.
I recommend reading the wiki pages for both, since they're interesting reads, but you should definitely check me on this. Don't take my word for it.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satan https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucifer
Check their earliest histories.
E: forgot to mention that Milton was another one of the people who made up large portion of the modern idea of "hell", which was originally a term from old Norse, and so he and Dante basically combined the Norse He'll and the Greek Hades to make "Hell" as we know it today, complete with the Lord of Hell. It's all syncretism.
Hi, I'm one of the other people. Etymology is interesting and useful, but the question "what is Lucifer and how is he related to Satan" in the context about Christianity is specifically about dogma. When discussing dogma, etymology literally does not matter. Lucifer and Satan are the same, as defined by the church before the protestant movement, making it christian canon for all sects except Eastern Orthodoxy.
The person asked the question, specifically, why Christians conflate the two, and whether it is true that they are always the same person. Notice that the question asks not just for a dogmatic response, but a comparative religious analysis. While it is true that "modern Christians treat them like the same person", saying "they are the same person" doesn't answer the question at all. It asked why do Christians treat them like the same person, and the actual answer is that medieval Christians conflated a lot of things, made up a bunch of demons, and also took secular sources like Milton and Dante as authoritative gospel, rather than religious fiction. If you're going based on the actual bible, Lucifer is a star in the sky, and precisely nothing more. Even the Serpent from the garden is only conflated with Satan.
Literally ignore the other people. They clearly don't know what they're talking about
This is my issue with your previous comment. It's clear to me that we interpreted the question differently. Different interpretations does not make either of us wrong. I chose to answer with established current beliefs, you chose to answer with theological history. Both are correct.
medieval Christians conflated a lot of things, made up a bunch of demons
This wasn't just an organic movement of peasants creating their own interpretations. It was literally taught by the church. Your own source about Satan specifically mentions pope Gregory IX accusing Cathars as following a heretical religion of Lucifer. This suggests that Lucifer and Satan were considered the same by the church, long before the 11th century. The demons that were "made up" were almost all Pagan gods. It was a deliberate action by the church to get them to convert.
No, Lucifer and Satan are the same entity. Satan's name before he was cast out of heaven for heresy was Lucifer.
Other figures like Baphomet, Mammon, Beelzebub, etc were pagan gods that Christianity coopted into being devils controlled by Satan to cause people to stray from God.
Well, all of them are from other religions, Lucy & god included.
No weh!
Yah, weh.
High weh even!
(That's when you take drugs to get closer to god.)
Yes, there are lines that can be drawn between abrahamic religions and ancient Mesopotamian religions. I think there's a fundamental difference between basing a religion on pre-existing mythos and coopting religions
Yeah, but Satan (as an entity, not just a concept) is both.
And we aren't even sure when did Canaanite/Abrahamic religions become monotheistic, and I would classify at least that as a religion change (not the rituals/practical usage, but the core philosophy).
Have you ever seen Lucifer and Satan at the same place at the same time though?
Alright one of you who know whats up, whats the deal with spartan 117 and master chief? They're different figures, right? Whats with the heathens using them interchangeably? And why dont they throw John Halo into the 'same guy' umbrella term of 'demon' too?
as I understand it Satan is officially a title and means something like "the adversary", and Lucifer got this title after being cast out of heaven
Lucifer was just farrying light (ferre lucis - the bringer of light), but that just means morning star/Venus.
But like all such texts and oral traditions the dude had several previous roles via random translations, misrememberings, story evolution, several distinct religions, mashups of all those, etc.
I mean, look at this
P.S.
Hail Mrs Satan
uh, hail mrs yourself?
She could get hailed, ngl
Oh yeah I cannot hang as an electrical engineer.
who's upvoting from 420?