No Stupid Questions

I play single-player games, so I mostly can't relate.

However, yesterday while playing The Witcher 3, a child who was skipping stones at the pond got up and charged right into Geralt. I had passed her and her brother on the way into town, and I think I set the controller down to look at something on the phone, when a tiny NPC comes charging up and rams me. Twice. Then goes back to the pond. I don't know if it was a bug or what.

It's very early on in the game. I had to go talk to a witch, Keira or something like that. Striking blonde young woman. It was adjacent to or part of the Bloody Baron's quest, I think. Or Ciri's. I'm still kinda trying to get my bearings. Anyway, it told me to go to the pond, then look for a stone, then a cart, then the shack. Anyway, the pond in question was where the child was skipping stones, so I went to speak to her, and she didn't say anything special.

Now that I think about it, I wonder if the child had a scripted daily action (e.g. run home and get a picnic basket of lunch for her and her brother) and I just put Geralt in her path. Still, it was weird. She rammed into me twice and then returned to her spot.

If it's a boy named Louis Pan and we're playing Deus Ex, we usually do something else (everyone kills him, since the first two Deus Ex games let you kill kids).

Step 1. Play single player games.

That's it. That's all you have to do.

I think Anakin knows the appropriate response here

Try DayZ instead. You can just shoot them in the leg and leave them be devoured by the zombies.

You could probably try to talk about your favourite anime, or Sonic the hedgehog. I'm sure you'll find you have lots in common!

Stay focused on your goals and don't let trolls or negativity distract you. Not every comment deserves a response. Ignore them or mute them and keep moving forward.

it's about staying true to your values and setting the example. People respect consistency, confidence, and discipline. Keep doing what you believe is right, and let your actions speak louder than your words.

Start giving them chores.

You might get some work done for free, or you might make them bored enough to leave.

Or you'll get a shitty, half-done job that you'll have to spend more time fixing, while the kid practically begs you for approval.

Aww I remember looking up to big players as a kid

that's kinda cute actually

i just want to say this is adorable. it sounds like you feel safe and cool to them so you constantly get chosen to spend time with. it takes a village, and in some small way you're doing your part. i know its annoying sometimes, but you might look back fondly on your time helping out some annoying kids in a game some day. i dont really have any specific advice though, good luck haha.

Just to make sure have you actually tried turning them down? Even if they are kids you're allowed to say no.

Like "No, sorry, I want to do my own thing alone, tonight" ?

Just be a bit honest and polite. Kids respond well to that.

block them or switch /teleport somewhere else.

Stop interacting with them... Interacting with sociable people is going to result in more socialization. Set flag to AFK or Busy if possible, then tune out of the chat.

Is this where we are now? Giving instructions on how to be introverted?!

Hire a piper with multicolored clothing to rid the server of rats and then don't pay him.

Ignore, block, or BFG 9000 I guess.

Kids being kids on Minecraft 😇

(yeah I know it's Luanti)

Ignore, block or talk about politics

What game are you playing?

Have you thought that maybe you are a more interesting and compelling person than you presume?

Do parent tricks. I need help can you find X for me so go quest for it?

Options vary depending on your temperament and goals.

You could tell them no thanks, you are busy. Perfectly reasonable, it can be done kindly, and setting a clear boundary can work wonders.

You could also try managing rather than helping them. By this I mean helping them with the cognitive tasks of figuring out what they want to do and planning that out. This would mean finding a tutorial or video of a build, getting the summary of items needed, and then telling them how to go get those things and organise the storage.

If you go spelunking with them then having them come along as a part of the team and helping with something like strip mining can be very good. If they aren't interested they can go do something else, but this specific task is something they can do to help. For example, I would make two long lines on the same level connected at one end to create a U shape then have them mine from one side to the other with a gap of two blocks. That simple mining is tedious but much better with extra hands, and the excitement of finding something good is enough to keep them interested often enough.