Ask Lemmy

• Home Derpo - because you'd have to be brain damaged to be there
• Taco Hell - sat in line for two hours because there was no escape, still got my order wrong
• Dairy Tween - every shift nothing but little kids working. still better than taco hell.
• seXBox - it's a box, for self pleasure 🤷
• cornhub - corn goes in, corn goes out
• Micky Deez nuts (where you can order a mcderble quatah poundah)

Not a corporation, but my late uncle used to call the show "Big Brother" the big bother

Always remember that Microsoft literally means small and limp.

Walmart = Wally world Target = tarj mahal

Jimmy Johns: similar to Pei Wei & PF Chang's, there is a fancier, more expensive version of the restaurant named James Jonathan.

Fiat: Fix It Again Tony 🤌🏻🤌🏻

Google: it used to be an in joke with my friends to say "giggle it" instead of google it. Now we don't use google of course...

Best Buy: Worst Buy

Target: it is pronounced "tar-jay" because it is the fancy version of Walmart

711 was a part time job!

I mean microslop is pretty dang good

Comcrap Slaveway Krueger Home Despot

Electronic Farts

Cockstar Games

Ubibad (pronounced You Be Bad)

Micro$haft (pre-MicroSlop era)

Nintendon't (thank you, SEGA)

Jizzard-Gotnovision

Swasticar

I have a queer friend that calls his GMC Yukon his Gay Man's Chariot. When we go places in it he usually initiates by saying something like "to the chariot"

There's a gas station chain called Kum & Go but it's also referred to as Jizz and Jet or Ejaculate and Evacuate.

When I had a Samsung TV, I hated it intensely and printed a label that said "scamsung." That TV eventually went to the recyclers with that label still covering the Samsung one.

McDonalds→McDicks→McPenis. I'm mature.

The American embassy for McDonalds

Samsung --> Samsucks

PlayStation --> PayStation (Not a company name, but close enough)

Whole Foods -> Whole Paycheck

Walmart is its own insult.

Found On Road Dead

Just Empty Every Pocket

Fix It Again Tony

"Home Despot" is one of my favs from Joey Santore of crime pays but botany doesn't.

There’s a trucking company called Swift that gets a lot of flak for hiring inexperienced drivers. One of the nicer ones is So What I Failed Training. The rudest one I’ve heard ends with Toddlers, you can probably work out the rest, but you probably shouldn’t.

Charbucks

Nintendon't on account of their rabid intellectual property protection and litigious nature.

Works as both what they might say to would-be infringers as well as advice to avoid them. (Which people ignore because Zelda, Mario and childhood memories.)

Food court near me named Choices gets called "Chances".

Pontiac stands for Poor Old Neanderthal Thinks It's A Cadillac.

I sometimes call McDonalds „The Gilded Seagull Inn“