Ask Lemmy

Cut bits of a girl baby's genitals: jail.

Cut bits off a boy baby's genitals: An occasion for a fucking party.

One that constantly comes up between me and my partner is fashion related. She is very liberal but when it comes to our relationship is the exact opposite. She buys everything from lacy thongs and g-strings to boy shorts underwear. She hates that I as a man wear thong and bikini underwear, too. I’m athletic, lift and workout 5 days a week, and get hot very easily. I like the support and minimalism of thongs for that, but she always buys me boxers which are uncomfortable and bunch up and all the extra fabric and cotton makes me hot and sweaty and chafe. When I bring up she wears thongs just do she doesn’t have panty lines and I wear them for comfort and support she doesn’t understand. She also mentioned she thinks guys wearing thongs is weird but then says it’s so “brave” when gay guys do it during pride. I once called her out and homophobic for assuming it’s a fetishized gay guys only thing and she got mad, but am I wrong?

As a guy who's trying dating again, there's something that keeps coming up that kinda bugs me: talking to women who just put in the bare minimum of effort, expect me to carry the conversation and make all the first moves.

I don't give two shits about traditional gender roles and I'm all about subverting them. However, I think if you're in the same boat but still wanna call yourself a "passenger princess" and expect the guy to do everything, you're kind of a hypocrite.

No one calls a woman a babysitter or says she's "giving dad a break" when she's somewhere with her own children.

Domestic violence against men is usually ignored or blamed on the victim.

doing oppositely gendered activities.

my girlfriend can change the oil in her car and lifts weights?

cool. healthy.

i can sew my own clothes and bake?

Weird. Creepy.

Clothes in general, I could borrow my husband's shirt and nobody would bat an eye but I'd he borrowed mine (he can't because I'm smaller, but assuming we were the same size-ish) would look strange.

I don't think groping is gonna be ignored in any workplace, in any direction.

In favor of men: when we get angry, people listen. When women get angry, people stop listening.

Against men: men being around children is seen as suspect. Women being around children is seen as healthy.

Well, for one, the ability to freely talk about issues specific to their gender without judgement by ~20% of the population

I work in a company that seems to have mostly women in management roles and the area I work in has mostly women in our area as well. The things I've heard women say about men though would get any guy shit-canned within a day if he were to say anything like that about women. Women can straight-up say things like, "I hate men" or "Men are such assholes" or "What is wrong with men?" or "Guys are so stupid!" or "My husband is such a fucking idiot" or saying blatantly sexual shit about men that they have crushes on or find attractive. It's just a joke to them, like whatever. Meanwhile, if a guy were to say anything even remotely approaching to what I've heard in our office, they would be gone like nothing, there's just no tolerance for that.

And don't get me wrong, I'm not offended by women saying sexist things like that or talking sexually about guys, I don't give a shit, I've heard worse from other guys. That doesn't bother me and I'm not looking to get anybody in trouble over it, I just want tolerance from both sides. What bothers me is that men aren't afforded that same courtesy and aren't allowed to talk the same way. Women can talk shit at work all they want about men because "Fuck the patriarchy, old white men are ruining everything, etc", but whooo, if a guy says anything remotely out of line about women, they will be reported like that 🫰.

Some good examples:

• Fat acceptance and body positivity. Obesity is glorified (even fetishized) when it's a woman, whereas obese men are shunned. Have you noticed that nobody in the fat acceptance movement is vouching for the 300lb basement dwellers?

• Older ladies who date younger guys are called cougars, whereas if you flip the gender roles, an older man dating a younger lady half his age is going to be labelled a pedophile, even if she's of-age. Just look at at the anger surrounding Tobey Maguire (48 years old) dating a 20 year old actress. There are people who legitimately think men like him should be hunted for sport.

• The amount of effort you have to put into your dating profile. Women have the opposite problem of being inundated with matches even with minimal effort.

Last time I checked, women were overwhelmingly likely to be granted custody over men, even when the man is a better parent.

One of the two presidential candidates has five children with three different partners. The coverage of that fact would be very different it it were the female.

Dress code at work. I work in investment banking. On a hot summer day I have to wear smart shoes, black socks, long trousers, long sleeved shirt. Women can wear whatever. It's fucking horrible

In dating or marriage: If a female partner criticizes on her male’s choice of outfit, it’s totally normal. If a male criticizes the choice of outfit of his female partner… a fight is imminent.

It's fairly broadly believed that strong male influences benefit a child greatly, but males are looked at with huge skepticism if they attempt to enter most forms of childcare as a profession.