Ask Lemmy

Changed the fuck out of it. I go the extra mile and destroy as many childhood pictures of me that I can find as well, and any proof I existed as a child. They clearly did not want another child, and only catered to their actually wanted children.

If you don't want a fucking burden then don't raise one. Maybe raise your child to be independent if you want an independent child instead of reducing them to some stupid fake shit and literally not allowing them to grow and blaming their stagnation on that stupid fake shit. Yeah I remember when trying to do things on my own was being a Bad Kid but being a dependent burden was a problem as well. Yeah washing my own face to avoid having family wash it with toilet water was being bad, but so was needing someone to fucking wash my face for me. Right.

And on top of that you're going to name me some stupid fake african weeaboo bullshit because I have special color skin? Fuck off. I'm American and I will give myself an American name to reflect my American heritage as an American born in the United States of America to parents born in the United States of America. 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 It's my flag too bitch. I was born and raised here.

Why should I change my name? They're the ones who suck 😆

You cited a US law there. If you are a citizen of the United States through any other means beside birth on US soil, I would not do anything currently to put a spotlight on that like making a name change. The current administration is obsessed with expelling people and their efforts are coming up short so they keep lowering the bar for who they go after seeking the smallest excuse to deport people to make up their quota.

Maybe revisit this idea in a few years or if you decide to leave the country for more sane lands.

I wouldn't in the US right now. Look at the SAVE act, which if passed would block a person from voting if their name doesn't match what's on their birth certificate.

Under the current administration, women should seriously think before taking their partners name if getting married. Folks like you, OP, should weigh the trouble of legally changing your name versus just introducing yourself by a nickname.

I go by the shortened version of my name, because my full name was screamed at me so often, I can barely handle it when it's used... That second syllable is like a gun shot, so one syllable it is.

Nah, I enjoy the semi anonymity I get from having the same name as 2 different small time celebrities.

I did that when our family split and I think it’s worth dropping that name but at the same time I have mixed feelings about the name I added. To that point I feel it opens a can of worms that will have you question your name forever. I wouldn’t change whatever name you go by though.

I don’t think a name change would cause you troubles but would just add more paperwork.

I know people who have reinvented themselves and left the past behind, and I know people who have reinvented themselves and carried on with their legal names. Depends on the person and the setting. To each their own.

My last name is neither my mom or dad's. It's my mom's ex-husband's from before I was born. I guess she still legally had the name after they split, and I inherited it - not her side of the family or my father's last name, since they weren't married. So I carry a last name for some family I'm not a part of biologically or otherwise, and have never met anyone from that family. And I'm estranged from the entirety of both sides of my biological family, so neither of those names would be viable replacements.

It does and has always bothered me a bit. I've never felt pride about my name or where I came from. I've never felt the sense of family that my friends seemed to have. Or the sense of identity that might come from wearing a jersey with your last name across the back. I just feel like a misfit, so in a way this misfit name is kind of appropriate. It's hasn't been a priority to change it, and nobody gives a shit for spite to have any effect. They would never find out.

The only reason I decided to keep my last name (still changing my first) is that my parents decided to actually start being decent people and care about and respect me. If they hadn't, I probably would have wanted to change my last name too.

Look bro, you can't do things because of them anymore. Just do things for you. Your name is your name, their opinion or relation to that name done matter.

For decades, I have refused to use my middle name in conversation, documents and virtually everything else because it is my birth-father's first name. There have been a handful of times where I had to use it on a legal document, but beyond that I've had no hassles or had to jump through any hoops.

I have a friend who changed his some time in his 30s or 40s. Not sure what the significance of his new first name was, but he had been named after his dad. He also too his mom’s maiden name as his last name.

I changed my first name, and if I ever get married I'd take my partner's last name. I've considered just changing my last name by myself but I would have no idea what name to pick. Ultimately I carry their name, but I'm not part of their family.

i don't have my father's last name 100% to spite that fucking asshhole

My girlfriend changed to her grandfathers name because she hate her father.

Not in any way related to the US or their laws.

I have my father's last name and didn't have children to perpetuate our toxic bloodline but my dipshit brother did. My sole purpose was taking me and my little cousin who lived in the same toxic environment I grew up in, but 15 years later and showing her a better way. We are still who we are, but no one knows the others from my family on that side, we don't talk to them. It's her and I starting a new family with my wife and kids and making something better for ourselves and treating each other with love and respect instead of like crabs in a barrel always trying to pull each other down. I kept my last name and we will make it better.

For a little while I kinda split the difference. Early in my tech news writing career, I started pronouncing my last name as the French version.

I fenced in high school and we did well enough to go to a national competition, so they brought in fancy refs from France. For the first time in my suburban upbringing I heard an actual French person pronounce my last name over the auditorium speakers and it was the coolest frigign thing I’d ever heard.

So once I started doing interviews and getting on podcasts in the early days of my writing career, I pronounced my last name that way to try and distance myself from my family without going through a legal hullabaloo.

I eventually I realized it was a bit disingenuous since I hadn’t spent the time to learn anything about my French heritage, which I was already quite removed from anyway. I dropped it and went back to what was surely the Ellis Island pronunciation I grew up with.

I wanted to change my last name to the one of my maternal grandfather's, but at this point it would be a buerocratic shitshow to change all my papers, contacts, insurence, mortgage and what not.

It sounds like shooting yourself in the foot, hoping that the people who are no longer in your life will feel the pain.

So no, don't create so much extra work for yourself

You want to create more work for yourself and risk your citizenship to try to hurt people who won't know or care?