this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2025
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Programmer Humor

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[โ€“] 9point6@lemmy.world 133 points 1 month ago (3 children)
[โ€“] navi@lemmy.tespia.org 29 points 1 month ago

delusion was added in C++24 and we are stuck in C++03 ๐Ÿ˜ญ

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[โ€“] BrokenGlepnir@lemmy.world 61 points 1 month ago

As a c++ professor, I would never lie to my students like this.

[โ€“] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 50 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (8 children)

C++ lets you assign variables with <%%> in case your parents were killed by an equals sign.

[โ€“] entwine@programming.dev 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

TIL about bat! Looks awesome!

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[โ€“] atopi@piefed.blahaj.zone 48 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I am trans

Do i need to learn rust?

[โ€“] thevoidzero@lemmy.world 50 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I'm a rust developer, do I need to transition?

[โ€“] genfood@feddit.org 16 points 1 month ago (3 children)

To both of you a clear yes!

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[โ€“] atopi@piefed.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)
[โ€“] thevoidzero@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Good read, thanks

But I believe in generics, just write your functions so that it can work with all the types ;)

translation: Just get rid of what is a boy or a girl thing. Just let people do what they like.

[โ€“] luciferofastora@feddit.org 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The idea of abolishing all gendering of things is a curiously contested one within LGBT+ spaces, as far as I can see.

I can understand how people wishing to be identified a certain way have a vested interest in the existence of markers for that identity.

On the other hand, I wish painting my nails wasn't fem-coded on some level. Of course guys can do so too, but the only "guy" I knew who did so regularly eventually turned out not to be a guy, which doesn't exactly help me ignore that connotation.

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[โ€“] FosterMolasses@leminal.space 12 points 1 month ago

Only if you like women

[โ€“] AngularViscosity@piefed.social 45 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Whew! Thankfully I'm a gay JavaScript user

[โ€“] Masterkraft0r@discuss.tchncs.de 42 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

everybody on the internet is a javascript user! do you even develop, bro?

I guess I pretend to with limp wrists.

[โ€“] Pissmidget@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Is that why people keep calling each other gay online?

[โ€“] 0ops@piefed.zip 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They're putting scripting in the webpages, that TURNS THE FRICKEN USERS GAY

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[โ€“] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 37 points 1 month ago (10 children)

MatLab user

I like how it doesn't say "coder" because everyone knows MatLab isn't a real programming language

[โ€“] mcv@lemmy.zip 21 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

It's realer than vibe coding.

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Let's not go referring to vibe coders as developers, now.

[โ€“] QueenMidna@lemmy.ca 29 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Am a trans Rust developer. Can confirm.

[โ€“] missfrizzle@discuss.tchncs.de 18 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I'm old and remember when all the trans women were Haskellers. now they've all moved to Rust and here I am, still toiling away with my monads and combinators, a lonely spinster. ๐Ÿ˜”

[โ€“] lena@gregtech.eu 8 points 1 month ago

I'm a trans woman and recently started learning Haskell :3

It's fun, I plan to eventually rewrite Lemvotes in Haskell (backend with Servant, frontend in Miso) as an exercise (and because the current codebase sucks and I didn't know what I was doing when I wrote it)

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[โ€“] TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 month ago
[โ€“] saltesc@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (13 children)

SQL enjoyer?

Every time I use it I feels like I'm going back to the 90s. No variables, no functions; Oh but you can do a CTE or subquery.......๐Ÿ‘

UNION ALL, UNION ALL, UNION ALL... "There's got to be a better way, surely..."

looks up better way

"Oh, what the fuck?!.... Nope, this will just be quicker..." UNION ALL, UNION ALL, UNION ALL...

Join in a table sharing column names... Everything breaks. You gotta put the new prefixes in front of all the headers you called in now. In every select, in every where, etc... Which is weird because that kinda works like a variable and it's fine...

"When you see this little piece of text, it means all this, got it?"

"Okay. Yep. Easy."

"So why can't you do that with expressions?"

SQL SCREAMS MANICALLY

"Okay, okay, okay!... Jesus..."

And then you try put a MAX in a where and it won't let you because you gotta pull all the maxes out in their own query, make a table, join them in, and use them like a filter...

I hate it. It has speed, when you can finally run the script, but everything up to that is so...ugh.

[โ€“] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 17 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Personally I feel like SQL syntax is upside down, and things are used before they are defined.

SELECT 
a.id -- what the fuck is a?
, a.name
, b.city -- and b??
from users a -- oh 
join city b on a.id = b.user_id -- oh here's b

I'd expect it to instead be like

From users a
join city b on a.id = b.user_id
SELECT
a.id,
a.name,
b.city
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[โ€“] DarkAngelofMusic@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 1 month ago (2 children)

While I agree that "SQL Enjoyer" seems like a weird category, I personally love SQL. I've been using it professionally for over 20 years, and I've yet to encounter a more elegant, efficient, and practical language for handling data in a relational database. Every attempt I've seen to replace it with something simpler has fallen far short.

Which database systems were you dealing with, that didn't allow variables? My personal favorite is PostgreSQL, which does allow them on scripting languages, such as PLPGSQL.

[โ€“] Jesus_666@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

See, I don't have to worry about such details. I work in corporate software dev, which means that everything is an MSSQL database where most of the tables contain only an ID of a table-specific format and a JSON blob. Why use an ORM when you can badly reimplement NoSQL in a relational database instead?

[โ€“] Quill7513@slrpnk.net 8 points 1 month ago

hey hey, there there. don't worry. most of the major NoSQL DBs implement just as horrible of travesties

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[โ€“] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The word for R Studio fan is "scientist"

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[โ€“] sunoc@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 month ago
[โ€“] Scoopta@programming.dev 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

C++, ew, no thanks, also where is C??

[โ€“] entwine@programming.dev 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You can't spell "INCEL" without "C"

[โ€“] Scoopta@programming.dev 11 points 1 month ago

๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

[โ€“] sexy_peach@feddit.org 15 points 1 month ago
[โ€“] palordrolap@fedia.io 15 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Me, looking between a picture of Bjarne Stroustrup and OP: ... are you sure about that?

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[โ€“] RoyaltyInTraining@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Programming in C++ is downright horrifying to me after trying other languages. The way it does generics is fucked up on so many levels...

[โ€“] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Feels a bit like being told to do brain surgery and getting handed a hatchet, especially in the modern era.

Like, its a great learning language precisely because it does force you to think about what's actually under the hood of your objects and attributes. You actually have to learn what a pointer is. You actually have to think about memory usage and system states. Its like Bio 1 when they have you dissect a rat.

But without a ton of library support, you're doing so much heavy lifting. And with a bunch of library support... why not just use C#?

[โ€“] Pelicanen@sopuli.xyz 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

...do you mean C++ or just C? Cause, sure, you can poke around with pointers and references in C++ but it can also be used just like any other OOP language, whereas in C it's absolutely necessary since it's not an OOP language.

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[โ€“] BartyDeCanter@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I was a C/C++ dev for a long time. Then a while back I got an ewaste Thinkpad running Linux and have started developing in Rust. When do my programming socks show up?

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[โ€“] baltakatei@sopuli.xyz 9 points 1 month ago

I expected circular arrows pointing back towards themselves for many on the diagram.

[โ€“] BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

I do find C++ and Rust very attractive. Iโ€™m sure some of the other languages have very nice personalities, though.

[โ€“] falseWhite@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Everyone using the web are JavaScript users, but what about JavaScript developers?

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[โ€“] umbraroze@slrpnk.net 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Yeah I wouldn't date an RStudio user. Real men do their R coding in Jupyter.

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