Obviously next to House. He wants his seat neighbors to stfu and let him sleep. I want the same. It's perfect.
this post was submitted on 22 Mar 2026
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Five minutes into the flight, he's going to have this really nervous, embraced look on his face. Ten minutes in, he's going to be fidgeting and kinda trying to catch your attention. Fifteen minutes in, he's going to give you the most exasperated sigh and announce "It's lupus. You've got lupus. You need to begin treatment as soon as we land."
I'm unclear whether that's supposed to be a deterrent from sitting there.
The issue is that they didn’t have lupus before sitting next to House. The universe just couldn’t let House go 15 minutes without a diagnosis.
"He'll diagnose you with something!"
Healthy people: oh fuck!
Chronically ill people: fuck yes!
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Problem is that you're still pretty close to Butt-Head (I assume Muscle Man is polite enough to be reasonably quiet). Granted you get an aisle seat so you can occasionally "go to the bathroom" to get some peace and quiet (edit: and House might be willing to slip Beavis and Butt-Head, the former especially, some Vicodin for you because he also wants them to shut up.)
Then again, sitting in or near the very back might save your life with Beavis and Butt-Head aboard. (edit 2: Forgot this wouldn't be possible after 9/11.)
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The presence of Kazuma and Aqua guarantee that there will be no peace on this flight no matter where one is seated.
And Aqua is pretty small (more shoulder room) and 10 is an aisle seat, might as well 🤷♂️.
Plus they’ve probably got alcohol to share, so sitting in 10. Guaranteed not to be bored.
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1 easy choice. Those two have stories for days. Normally I don't want to be bothered but that would be interesting enough to be fun.
Exactly. You get a moment to share with some of the craziest people, you take it. Also, they'll probably buy you a drink.
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House. He'd ignore me the whole time.
Hugh Laurie is an accomplished blues and jazz musician i would not miss that chance to get ignored by someone that fancy
- Don't tell me, I don't want to know.
someone do tell him, I want to know
The pink-haired one is kind albeït a bit slow. The white-haired one is probably smuggling contraband and is not afraid to trample you in an emergency. Beating up Beavis for snickering at their horse ears constitutes an emergency.
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5 hoping they have some edibles on them
Five, swap seats with Silent Bob, throw on headphones, hope Beavis and Butthead don't crash the plane
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My man, I can't grow up on Kevin Smith films and miss the opportunity to sit between him and Jason Mewes. Are we kidding?
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House and CJ. While House and I knock back a few drinks, CJ would clip any possible plane highjacker.
5, I can count on some silence.
Are you kidding me? Jay won't ever shut the hell up, so he'll be talking to you the whole flight about shit
Might get a good buzz, or at least a plug which can be useful.
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100% this plane's crashing.
9, maybe I can peg bbno$ too. 😏
5
Endless entertainment, whether they're in character or not.
fuck it, 7, at least by the end i'll know i have no illness mysterious enough to warrant his attention
I'm sitting next to house because if I don't bother him he'll probably pop a couple vicoden and take a shot and sleep
House and CJ, thanks. Both of them basically just want to chill. But frankly with the way that plane is going to be, I'd leave the airport and take a train or a bus.
7, but only so I can regale House with the saga that was my lupus diagnosis.
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7, for sure. House doesn't want to talk, I don't want to talk, we're cool.
7 no question Hugh and I are leading the whole plane in Minnie the Moocher the whole flight.
HO DI HO DI HO DI HO
4 4 4 4 4 4 4 please oh god 4 4 4 please. Best cat boi. 9 is also fine because bbno$ is really chill.
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I'm checking myself in as cargo.
definitely 7. idk who the person in front is, but I'm SURE Dr. House would be so entertaining to sit next to and Charlie is literally the best possible person to sit behind me.
damn, i barely recognize anyone.
Jay would be turned around in his seat macking on the waifus.
'So, are you, like, 18 in horse years, or what?'
6-7
5 if you want interesting.
7 if you want an angry doctor to insult you and ignore you for the remainder of the flight while he sleeps after a couple vicodin. No idea who the other guy is, but it could get interesting if he has to take a piss.
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5, obviously. We're gonna smoke up in the bathroom!!
3! Huh huh huh Cornholio!!!
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