this post was submitted on 28 Aug 2026
71 points (100.0% liked)

Not The Onion

22329 readers
1871 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
all 27 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] moondoggie@lemmy.world 5 points 1 hour ago

I would like to petition Canada to rename Lake Michigan to Lake Epstein.

[–] TheVoiceOfRaison@thelemmy.club 3 points 50 minutes ago (2 children)

Does he realise America is a continent? The United States OF THE AMERICAN CONTINENT. USA isn't exclusive to the 50 stages it compromises off. There are 35 counties on the American continent.

Sorry for saying continent so much.

[–] harmony@piefed.blahaj.zone 5 points 33 minutes ago (1 children)

He wouldn't understand. He's incontinent.

[–] foggy@lemmy.world 1 points 19 minutes ago

which continent? 💩

[–] greatwhitebuffalo41@slrpnk.net 1 points 19 minutes ago

No. That would require him to understand things.

[–] blattrules@lemmy.world 9 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Maybe we’ll have to change the name of the Atlantic and/or the Pacific. Maybe we’ll change them both

Oh good, we’ll have two “American Oceans” because he’s too fucking stupid and patronizing to think of another name.

[–] Atherel@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 53 minutes ago

"Left Ocean of America" and "Right Ocean of America"

[–] weps@lemmy.world 11 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

The USA has given "America" a negative connotation

[–] Obituarykidney@lemmy.world 4 points 1 hour ago

Yeah but you already know people from the USA don't consider the rest of the Americas "America"

[–] huppakee@lemmy.world 9 points 4 hours ago

Pacific could be renamed to Ocean of the Warmongering Pedofile.

[–] ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 8 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Soon he will rename the whole continent to just "America".

[–] B1naryB0t@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 hour ago

America of America

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 10 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (1 children)

I propose that all the other countries in the world rename USA The United Mistakes of America, or maybe just Dumbfuckland.

Edit: Dumbfuckistan is even better.

[–] msantossilva@sh.itjust.works 1 points 9 minutes ago* (last edited 9 minutes ago)

In my neck of the woods, some people call it 'The Land of the Idiot' (in english and all)

[–] Varesti@lemmy.zip 9 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Dude is so dumb, at least we can change them back later.

[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 12 points 5 hours ago

It'll be like cleaning up after a 4-year-long bender. Probably find puke in just as many weird places too.

[–] CombatWombat@feddit.online 20 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (1 children)

This ongoing obsession of his is a huge W for the "America is the continent, not the country" folks. By the time we're through with all this, no-one is gonna want to use the name America for anything. America? I don't know her; I live in the EU (los estados unidos) thank you.

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 13 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

In Spanish Estados Unidos is abbreviated EE.UU.

[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 5 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

We were so close to not having to deal with his bullshit a second time but nobody wants to put in the range time to do it right.

[–] greatwhitebuffalo41@slrpnk.net 2 points 16 minutes ago

Omg I just laughed so hard, thank you. I needed that.

[–] Multiplexer@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Funnily, all uses of "America" for the whole continent (including the north) are misinterpretations of the original map drawn by Mr Waldseemüller, who invented the name "America" in the first and used it for Brazil.

On the same map some designation for the northern part of the continent can also be found, stating that it was a province discovered by the command of the king of Castille:

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c0/Waldseemuller_map_2.jpg

So, the only logical step will be to name North-America as "New Castille" from now on, to correct for the screw-up of the post-Waldseemüller map-reading-noobs.

[–] huppakee@lemmy.world 2 points 4 hours ago

I used to do this for almost my entire life. The orange todler made clean up my act and say US and people of the US instead of America and Americans.

[–] lokalhorst@feddit.org 3 points 5 hours ago

If a German ever tries to explain the meaning of the word Fremdscham to you, this is it.

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

Its just not how languages work.