I want to be free
this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2026
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the problem is, the reason why i want something and dont already have it is because its expensive. and i dont expect someone to pay a 3-4 figure sum for my gift
Thats exactly it. The only things I want are crazy expensive. I've got more than everything else that I want/need.
But when I say to my wife "seriously I'm happy with a box of chocolates" thats not good enough.
My answer is basically to stop letting a calendar date guilt trip you into wasting money on me because you've been marketed into some obligation so send me shit I don't need. If you happen to find something you think I'd actually appreciate, go for it, but even then it doesn't have to be for some stupid holiday.
I've kinda just stopped giving a shit about things like christmas or birthdays, both for me and for the people I'd consider giving a gift to, but I give them the same treatment: if I find something they'd like, I'll just buy and gift it as soon as it's convenient. And honestly the reactions are much better anyway, since it shows you're actually thinking of that person and not just fulfilling some annual ritual to send them shit cuz the commercials say it's time.
My parents buy things for me earlier then Christmas (intending them for christmas) spoil them for me because they're excited to tell me what they got or they think i can use it now, and then take it off me the day before just to wrap it up again 🤣
I suppose people who live in different towns to their parents avoid this, and hence the parents build up a stockpile, and if you only have time to visit one day of the year, they'll hand em all off to you then. Does that make it more acceptable? Because instead of waiting for a calendar day to buy the gifts at, they stowed the gifts away for until a big ceremony when family is visiting.
Might be how Christmas became a thing. Though I do believe the first gift giving was more like secret santa in scale, because nobody would receive more than 1 gift from someone else.
Does that make it more acceptable?
The thing I take issue with is the obligation we've been trained to feel when certain days come to buy something for everyone close to you.
If you're buying someone a gift because you see something you know they'll enjoy, then hoard it until some gathering like Christmas because that's an opportune time to give it, nothing about that rubs me wrong. If you buy someone a gift because it's Christmas then it's just a material ritual that lacks that personal connection that makes gifting meaningful.
And like, even I will send some bullshit to my nieces and nephews for birthdays and such, cuz they're like 6 and fucking love that shit - there's no deep personal connection or anything, but lil Timmy doesn't give a fuck: he had nothing from me a minute ago, and now he's losing his shit over some $5 squirt gun. It's fun for fun sake.
But like, when my mom calls me (and I'm pushing 40) asking what I want for Christmas... Mom, love ya, but stop worrying about that kind of shit. Let's go out for some dinner or something so we can reminisce about how much of an asshole I was when I was lil Timmy's age.
you're cool - I like your stance on this :)
We use the strategy of “luxury consumables” often. Fancy oil/vinegar, chocolate, candles, coffee, etc.
Yeah, I like to receive and give food gifts. Or I tend to give something I made myself, for example knitted socks or baked goods.
Everything inexpensive, I already have. Everything else is too much to ask for.
Like pay off my medical bills/student loans.
Buy a house.
Get dental work.
8tb SSD.
These things are way too expensive to ask anyone for.
I’m 42.
I want a remote control speedboat.
That's the kind of stuff I put on a wishlist too.
I think that's achievable and I also think you deserve it. I hope this happens for you.
I might just buy it for my son so I can use it.
We call this a bowling ball present at my house
"Look Marge! I bought you a new GPU" etc etc
I want to not wake up to an alarm.
I want to sip coffee on my porch while I watch woodland creatures.
I want to plow a field and drink barley water.
I want to tramp around a bog looking for wild edibles while my dog flushes game.
I want to wander in the woods after a snowfall, with the Milky Way above me and it’s so quiet I can hear the owls fly by.
I want the fireflies to be all the light I need.
I want an email to never find me.
That’s what I want for Christmas.
A gift card it is!
To a restaurant 3 hours away.
... By plane
You will receive golden physical bitcoin (plastic).
Best I can do is a medium Hickory Farms gift box from the mall kiosk.
What’s a mall? /s
that's beautiful.
So… coffee?
It’s a start.
Partial bottom surgery and a coupon for free facial/body hair removal services pls
"S-socks please"
Asking what I want? Wouldn't you rather play some sort of guessing game to prove that you know me better than I know myself?
Hi. Pretty sure we used to date.
Money. Not gift cards, not 'you'll take me out for a fancy lunch', not 'I'll buy you something off your Amazon wishlist'. Money. Cold, physical currency.
Why? Parents and relatives are denser than a concrete bomb shelter. I don't want furniture, I don't want games, I don't want gift certificates. If I want something, I'll buy it myself. And for my 'splurge' list, you know what, sure mom. I want an XL David from Bad Dragon, in natural colors, and in a soft+medium firmness. And, because I want to feel like I am being spitroasted, a small Flint, in natural, and soft. I do need to work on my gag reflex. Oh, you'll just give me cash? Okay then. Don't open any package addressed to me, mmkay?
I'd still take a nice lunch though
To me, this is a sign of maturity. No longer requesting specific things, but accepting what others pick out for you.
On the contrary, don't get me things. I do not need more junk that's tangentially related to my interests cluttering up my house. I don't have room for more random stuff, thanks.
asking what they want is for kids that have no purchasing power, for adults is more fun to take the risk and surprise each other
At this point I have all the things I want or need. I'd much rather have experiences
Everything I want is expensive and I don't expect people to pay for it. Like if I were to buy something useful now, it'd be almost $1000 (fucking ram), and everything else is more expensive.
So I just say I want nothing.
Are non-fucking rams cheaper?
Since there's only one actual child in my family of 10ish that gets together for Christmas, I've been trying to convince everyone to do group gifts. Adults have jobs and can buy little things they want, but 10 people can go in on one big purchase. Last year we all went in on a laptop for my sister, and similar big purchases for most of the other adults.
"Something not expensive from the heart".
Flusters folk a lot. I frankly don't care if you give me a broken padlock or a dingalong found in a forgotten pawnshop as long as it does tie into, well, me. Intention is what matters to me more than the item.
Yep. I ask for photos, letters, memories. A lot of them aren’t fans but I’ve got a couple loved ones who do special outings with me as gifts now at least.
It’s hard to get them to transition to that, for sure.
I generally don't want things. I get asked for a wishlist every year. I have to come up with a book list because that's really the only thing I can think of that is a normal gift
I tell people to get me liquor and candles. Honestly, I just want my friends to show up once a year so we can hang out for a few hours like the good old times.
You wishing for a comet collision with Earth too?
comets are beautiful. We deserve an asteroid.
But the strip club doesn't offer gift cards, so what do I ask for?
On the other hand, you can use gift cards to tip the strippers!
I ... can't imagine that the strippers would be pleased with this...
"Your dancing was great and your body is amazing! Here, get yourself a giant Home Depot skeleton."
I just give a list of charities, donate in my name. I have enough trinkets probably.
This is a great choice!
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