this post was submitted on 07 Feb 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] LuckyPierre@lemm.ee 9 points 2 hours ago

Aww, that's sweet. A real modern day love story.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 16 points 3 hours ago (2 children)

enterprise resource planning??

[–] Mr_Canard@jlai.lu 3 points 3 hours ago (2 children)
[–] GiveOver@feddit.uk 1 points 1 hour ago
[–] a_postmodern_hat@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Ah, enterprise role playing

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 hours ago

Ah, enterprise role playing

Also known as "a job"

[–] Chekhovs_Gun@lemmy.world 3 points 3 hours ago

Lmao that's exactly what I said and how I said it

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 hours ago

Anon, you gotta lock that up. Get him preganat immediately

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 8 points 3 hours ago

It's actually easy to get laid, turns out you just have to not be afraid of people (which I am)

[–] PanArab@lemm.ee 2 points 2 hours ago

Being attracted to femboys isn't homosexual. The attraction is to the femininity in them. Both are happy, all is good.

I apologize if any of the words are offensive or inappropriate. Someone once wrote that "femboy" is offensive, I don't know of an alternative word.

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 hours ago

Aggravated I can't find that feminization pipeline image that's like 'gay, super gay, mega gay, ultra gay... straight.'

[–] stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 29 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

20 years of virginity are rookie numbers, I'm getting those wizard powers at 30

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 1 points 3 hours ago

Same soon. It's just fate. I was AeroAce until recently to add to the funny, and panicked because I will cross a threshold, then changed my mind lol!

[–] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 12 points 9 hours ago (3 children)

Be careful to keept it then. My people are watching. If you lose your Virginity there go the powers.

[–] Default_Defect@midwest.social 2 points 3 hours ago

I was 24 when a harlot stole my precious seed and robbed me of the promise of the mystic arts.

[–] TheGreenWizard@lemmy.zip 4 points 4 hours ago

The council watches with great interest.

[–] stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 8 hours ago

you don't have to worry, my virginity is safe

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 64 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

Fake: Anyone you meet on Discord is either a murderer or a fed.

Gay: Self-evident.

[–] prime_number_314159@lemmy.world 9 points 8 hours ago (3 children)

I mean... Nothing in this story implies femboy isn't a fed, and just really committed to the bit.

[–] GrumpyDuckling@sh.itjust.works 4 points 8 hours ago

Gotta get that dna sample somehow.

[–] Comment105@lemm.ee 2 points 8 hours ago

Playing the long game, in anticipation of the summer's national gay ban.

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[–] shadowedcross@sh.itjust.works 20 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

Can confirm, met several people from discord, am now dead.

[–] jabathekek@sopuli.xyz 3 points 3 hours ago

I hope you get better soon. Thoughts and prayers.

[–] PlainSimpleGarak@lemmings.world 7 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

And you can only communicate from the afterlife via Lemmy? Fate, tis a cruel bitch.

[–] Comment105@lemm.ee 4 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

...you can communicate from the afterlife via Lemmy?

sh itjust works

[–] shadowedcross@sh.itjust.works 2 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Could have it worse, in hell they can only communicate via Xitter.

[–] PlainSimpleGarak@lemmings.world 2 points 7 hours ago

That's debatable. I'm honestly not sure which platform talks about Trump/Musk more. It's exhausting.

[–] qyron@sopuli.xyz 97 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (6 children)

be 20 y/o permavirgin

I was 22 when I had my first time. Never considered myself a permavirgin.

Happy the poster found happiness for the following reasons:

a) he got laid

b) he's no longer a virgin

c) he found happiness

d) he found someone to love and that loves him back

e) there are two more people happy in the world

but, holy turtle on a skateboard, am I really happy for having one less doofus complaining of being alone.

Bring on the hate! I love you all!

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 1 points 3 hours ago

I get the feeling that this is what is happening, and at least that will solve overpopullation.

[–] Robust_Mirror@aussie.zone 1 points 4 hours ago

I was 22 when I had my first time. Never considered myself a permavirgin.

Same. People are so damn dramatic.

[–] uniquethrowagay@feddit.org 8 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I was 29 years old when I met my first girlfriend and had my first sex and I regret nothing. I didn't really realize it at the time, but I wasn't at all ready at 20 years old.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 1 points 3 hours ago

I'm 29 concern

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[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 15 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (1 children)
[–] Comment105@lemm.ee 10 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

That is meant to illistrate that the writer's penis was fully engorged and quite stiff, as far as sponges go.

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 78 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

Thank god they censored apeshit

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[–] napkin2020@sh.itjust.works 33 points 15 hours ago (2 children)
[–] KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

may be fake, but it is most definitely gay.

[–] Comment105@lemm.ee 4 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

Idk, dresses are like the no homo of garments. I think they're good.

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[–] ConstantPain@lemmy.world 49 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Where these housewife Discord femboys in the room with us right now?

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[–] peregrin5@lemm.ee 88 points 17 hours ago

The solution to incels was femboy waifus all along.

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