this post was submitted on 07 Feb 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] LuckyPierre@lemm.ee 22 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Aww, that's sweet. A real modern day love story.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 4 points 41 minutes ago (1 children)
[–] JayDee@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 21 minutes ago
[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 28 points 7 hours ago (3 children)

enterprise resource planning??

[–] ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 4 points 2 hours ago

Now you know how machinists feel about CNC.

[–] Mr_Canard@jlai.lu 3 points 6 hours ago (2 children)
[–] a_postmodern_hat@lemmy.world 6 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Ah, enterprise role playing

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 hours ago

Ah, enterprise role playing

Also known as "a job"

[–] GiveOver@feddit.uk 2 points 4 hours ago
[–] Chekhovs_Gun@lemmy.world 4 points 6 hours ago

Lmao that's exactly what I said and how I said it

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 15 points 7 hours ago

It's actually easy to get laid, turns out you just have to not be afraid of people (which I am)

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 10 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Anon, you gotta lock that up. Get him preganat immediately

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 3 points 40 minutes ago

That might be difficult. But keep trying anyway.

[–] PanArab@lemm.ee 2 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Being attracted to femboys isn't homosexual. The attraction is to the femininity in them. Both are happy, all is good.

I apologize if any of the words are offensive or inappropriate. Someone once wrote that "femboy" is offensive, I don't know of an alternative word.

[–] Sivecano@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 17 minutes ago (1 children)

There are only two genders: smash and pass

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 2 points 14 minutes ago
[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 4 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Aggravated I can't find that feminization pipeline image that's like 'gay, super gay, mega gay, ultra gay... straight.'

[–] Sivecano@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 18 minutes ago

Here you go:

[–] stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 32 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

20 years of virginity are rookie numbers, I'm getting those wizard powers at 30

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 2 points 7 hours ago

Same soon. It's just fate. I was AeroAce until recently to add to the funny, and panicked because I will cross a threshold, then changed my mind lol!

[–] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 14 points 12 hours ago (3 children)

Be careful to keept it then. My people are watching. If you lose your Virginity there go the powers.

[–] Default_Defect@midwest.social 2 points 6 hours ago

I was 24 when a harlot stole my precious seed and robbed me of the promise of the mystic arts.

[–] TheGreenWizard@lemmy.zip 4 points 8 hours ago

The council watches with great interest.

[–] stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 11 hours ago

you don't have to worry, my virginity is safe

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 69 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

Fake: Anyone you meet on Discord is either a murderer or a fed.

Gay: Self-evident.

[–] prime_number_314159@lemmy.world 12 points 11 hours ago (3 children)

I mean... Nothing in this story implies femboy isn't a fed, and just really committed to the bit.

[–] GrumpyDuckling@sh.itjust.works 5 points 11 hours ago

Gotta get that dna sample somehow.

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[–] shadowedcross@sh.itjust.works 22 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

Can confirm, met several people from discord, am now dead.

[–] jabathekek@sopuli.xyz 4 points 7 hours ago

I hope you get better soon. Thoughts and prayers.

[–] PlainSimpleGarak@lemmings.world 7 points 13 hours ago (3 children)

And you can only communicate from the afterlife via Lemmy? Fate, tis a cruel bitch.

[–] Comment105@lemm.ee 5 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

...you can communicate from the afterlife via Lemmy?

sh itjust works

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[–] qyron@sopuli.xyz 104 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (6 children)

be 20 y/o permavirgin

I was 22 when I had my first time. Never considered myself a permavirgin.

Happy the poster found happiness for the following reasons:

a) he got laid

b) he's no longer a virgin

c) he found happiness

d) he found someone to love and that loves him back

e) there are two more people happy in the world

but, holy turtle on a skateboard, am I really happy for having one less doofus complaining of being alone.

Bring on the hate! I love you all!

[–] uniquethrowagay@feddit.org 10 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

I was 29 years old when I met my first girlfriend and had my first sex and I regret nothing. I didn't really realize it at the time, but I wasn't at all ready at 20 years old.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 1 points 7 hours ago (1 children)
[–] uniquethrowagay@feddit.org 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

I actually had to realize I was depressed first. Therapy helped a lot with my self esteem.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 2 points 39 minutes ago

I am glad you managed to overcome it with therapy!

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 1 points 7 hours ago

I get the feeling that this is what is happening, and at least that will solve overpopullation.

[–] Robust_Mirror@aussie.zone 1 points 7 hours ago

I was 22 when I had my first time. Never considered myself a permavirgin.

Same. People are so damn dramatic.

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[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 15 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (1 children)
[–] Comment105@lemm.ee 10 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

That is meant to illistrate that the writer's penis was fully engorged and quite stiff, as far as sponges go.

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 82 points 20 hours ago (2 children)

Thank god they censored apeshit

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