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Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
"Patrolling [NAME OF WHERE THE GAME TAKES PLACE] almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter."
"mmhmm."
"Did you get all that?"
Yes
No <
Hornswoop me bungo pony.
"Hey! Fuck-face!"
"Get out of here, Stalker! Release the Epstein Files!"
I am an NPC in S.T.A.L.K.E.R., Shadow of Chornobyl (2026 Remaster -- (All we did in the remaster was fix the bugs, it is the same game you know and love except for this one NPC now reminds you of the Epstein class criminals!))
Interacting with you unlocks Epstein island at the wish granter, which teleports you into a prison cell with a broken camera and a security guard with a gun
Sometimes i doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
Did you know? You can change your gender at any time by going to the OPTIONS MENU. Normally it's a lot of work!
Oh now you have me worrying whether game devs are going to start disabling gender switching after character creation.
I wanna be like that very annoying NPC in the Pokemon Bizzare fangame that just rambles on forever about such a meaningless story. But with my own nonsensical story that has negative a million plot relevance.
Otherwise, if we're talking like a single sentence of dialogue:
Hokus pocus, joker's ride, come take a spin on a carnie ride
Bonus points if it's in a medieval set game and deeply confuses the player character.
Beetlejuice
Beetlejuice
I AM ERROR.
"Please just end it and make it quick"
"Want some rye? 'Course ya do."
You keep treating this like some kind of game... do you know something the rest of us don’t?
"Do you make it to the cloud district very often? Oh, what am I saying? Of course you don't."
"This is my one line of dialogue."
"My potions are TOO strong for you, traveller!"
"It's dangerous to go alone. Take this."
But I give a random, weird, (seemingly?) useless item each game.
The full text of the AGPL with no line breaks.
"The GNU Affero General Public License is a free, copyleft license for software and other kinds of works, specifically designed to ensure cooperation with the community in the case of network server software..."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"
I like to imagine myself standing by the main road, away from any important game stuff, but somewhere the player must pass through to get to the game stuff. And I'm just screaming at the top of my lungs. No reason, and it's never even addressed; it's just something the game implemented to annoy the player character.
There was some NPC Golem in WoW which would say "I do not enjoy conversation." when you talked to it.
That one!
"I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you're refering to as Linux, is in fact, GNU/Linux, or as I've recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux. Linux is not an operating system unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning GNU system made useful by the GNU corelibs, shell utilities and vital system components comprising a full OS as defined by POSIX."
"I've got plenty of things to say!"
They did it, and got away with it too. Don't ask me how I know. I've said too much already.
The only war is class war.
I used to be an adventurer like you, but I took an arrow to my knee...
"Wake up. None of this is real."
Or
(Covered in claw marks and cat fur, clutching a warning poster about a wild catlike beast) "if... If not friend... Why friend shaped??"
"Leave me alone!"
Hello! (Deep in my eyes you could read that I had something very exciting to tell you at some point, but it was part of something that got cut due to cost reduction.)
Make your politicians stay up at night thinking about you.
"I just want to go hug my cat right now"
Is it Tuesday already? Where does the time go...
"I'm too tired for this."
"On your left."
rides by on a bicycle
"I don't know you, and I don't care to know you."
