He is an expert in slap-fighting, sit-down style. "Everybody was slap-sit fighting".
this post was submitted on 29 Apr 2026
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Fat vampire
Every time you think this timeline can't get any more nonsensical and inane, it throws a "Steven Seagal is a gun runner for Russia" curve ball at you.
So why isn't he in the Trump cabinet?
Is he also a pedo?
His ego didn't fit through the door.
The OG gravey seal.
Is that what he's eating?
Russian pumpernickel parties with Tucker Carlson
The traitor and sack of shit should be on the frontlines.
Why can't we (as in civil society) drone bomb steven seagal?
How has this rancid bratwurst not ended up in the Trump administration by this point?
He's too busy attending Putin's parades, which is something he literally does
Maybe he doesn't like kids 🤷♀️
And give up his position in Putin's administration? No way.
Eh, Putin's in charge of both anyway, so there's not much difference.
Why not both?
Hey I'm going you need you to be more respectful of bratwursts here.
My first aikido masters were former students of Sensei Fat. They refused to speak of it. He must have been a real piece of work, even then.
That makes you the disciple of Steven Seagal's disciple. Awesome.
I'm gonna take you to the bank, Senator Trent. 😑 To the BLOOD BANK.
🤣
Imagine being such a shitty dictator that you have to hang out with the likes of 2020s Steve Seagal 😂
Seagal's wikipedia page reads like he's in the running for biggest shitbag actor award.
Have you seen him lately? He hasn’t run for anything in a long time. It’s actually funny if you watch his later movies, he’s mostly sitting down through the whole thing.
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Seagal’s wikipedia page reads like he’s in the running for biggest shitbag actor award.
Emphasis added for clarity.
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Do we know the status of Steven Seagal's nuclear program?
I've heard he's weeks away from having a nuclear bomb.
Why would Seagal need weapons?
To defend the VantaBlack he's spraying on his head
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That has to be a wig... Right?
I don't remember where I saw it because it was a while ago, but there's at least one picture online that clearly shows that his "hair" (most of it at least, definitely that point on his forehead) is spray painted on. Poorly.
I think it's Magneto's helmet
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