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And that’s basically it!
They always fly away before I can even get started!
What am I doing wrong?!
Why would anyone punish birds for jacking off?
you've not met conservative Christians ?
I did but not in US or UK
efforts to intervene, which range from removing perches to hormone treatment and surgery
wtf :(
Who would punish them? 😭
Bird Jesus looks down on them all.
BirDSM
I dont care if it's natural. im not removing the "no masturbating" sign from our bird feeder.
damn it, i was going to drop around for a session!
I agree. Gotta keep the "bird seed" out of the bird seed.
Birdkeepers punish birds? That's a new thought lol
My masturbation ain't natural and mommy should punish me for it
Who the fuck is researching this and what is the process of their information gathering?
Just a bunch of scientists sitting around watching birds goon all day going "ya, this seems perfectly natural!"
Funny how they picked the most pervert-looking bird for the article photo.
What do you mean? That bird looks just like the President.
I'm sorry people are out trying to punish birds?
Apparently birdkeepers are, yeah.
A seagull stole my chip. Are you suggesting I just Let That Go?
Then why do I keep getting punished every time I masturbate among birds?
Til that people are punishing birds for masturbating
American Christianity punishes all ideas of enjoying sex, even among animals.
My mind blown
Who was punishing birds for masturbating in the first place? Why!?
Researchers historically tended to assume birds either did not masturbate or did so only under the stress of captivity ... Accounts from hobbyists revealed that some owners had sought veterinary help when they caught their birds masturbating, fearing the animals might hurt themselves.
I would have just assumed they were preening...
Pretty big difference between preening and rubbing their cloaca on stuff. Ever had a budgie try and fuck your hand?
No, that's never happened to me. Got humped by a lot of dogs as a kid though. I thought they were just hugging me so I was confused when the adults yelled at them...
Tomato, tomato.
This explains all the bird watchers.
People are HORRIBLE with birds. Even the ones that pretend to love them treat them like trash.
And then there's the fuckers that think that their views of the world matters more than anything else, and will punish masturbation because animals don't feel pleasure so it shouldn't be allowed, will punish them for having gay couples because gay shouldn't exist and especially not in animals (else how can you say your main homophobic argument of "gay is unnatural, only degenerate humans do it"), will starve them for "training" purposes, and don't get me started on the diets, environment safety and cage sizes.
There's a reason why the life expectancy of birds doesn't increase in captivity. People are really, really horrible with birds, and the more I read about people who "care" about birds the worse I feel for their birds.
Being gay is unnatural, that's why you never saw a gay goat!
Actually, goats are unnatural. But you never saw a gay frog!
Actually, that's Big Pharma making the frogs gay. But you never saw a gay bird!
Gay isn't something one can see.
My browsing history disagrees.
I respectfully disagree. I do have this thing installed called “Gaydar”™️ though. Sometimes gets mixed signals if there’s a gay weather balloon near by.
A bird wrote this
PS: Article delivers
An investigation into acts of self-pleasure among parrots and other birds has reached a climax
Typically, males would be “rubbing quite vigorously” on their perch, a toy or a twig, or on their owner’s hand, foot or shoulder
Freaky ass birds.
Hold up. If a bird is bonded to you, and it does it, does it even count as baitin'? Sounds more like it's trying to mate with its mate. Or is bird-jacking fundamentally different? Bird experts... pitch in.
Hold up. If a bird is bonded to you, and it does it, does it even count as baitin’? Sounds more like it’s trying to mate with its mate.
This is actually one part of why fully hand-rearing baby parrots should not be done. When they don't perceive themselves as birds and will only bond to humans, they can get extremely frustrated since humans can't properly answer to their instinctual needs like mating behavior. This then easily leads to plenty of behavioral issues like excessive screaming and aggression towards even the human they're bonded with. Never seek to become a birds mate, just be friends with them
An investigation into acts of self-pleasure among parrots and other birds has reached a climax, with the results providing welcome relief for vets and researchers, not to mention the birds themselves.
Asked if they showed any signs of self-loathing or Catholic guilt, Heys thought not. “I don’t want to say satisfied, but they do look different after they finish. It’s obviously doing something for them.”
Someone was having a little too much fun with this article.
Orgasms feel good, more news at 11.
Just wait until the GOP (grand old parrots) learn about this.
I'll see myself out.
I believe the politically correct term is "Women". They tend to bitch a lot when you call them "birds".